365 Days Ago

In another state, in another house, in another life time, I took this picture.



I am not altogether sure, why? I suppose I wanted to try to remember everything. Even the things that were hard.

I know you are thinking what's the big deal? It's just a picture of bags. Get a grip.

What you don't see is the emotion that goes into packing each one of those bags every single time we leave this house, that house, anywhere.

Each one holds his life.

• The gray bag holds the suction machine to clear his artificial airway.
• The skinny black bag is the feeding pump, we've since gone smaller but it is still the only source of nutrition he has.
• The tan bag, the diaper bag -- which really doubled as our "go-bag". Every Trach family has a "go-bag". It's the bag that hold the supplies that keep him breathing. I would be lost without that bag.

There they are all sitting on the coffee table, waiting to go somewhere.

I don't remember where we went that day. Perhaps that would have been a better picture to take. Did we go to the park? Did we go to the store?

Most likely we went to the doctor.

I really wish I could remember. But for sure I know we went somewhere.



His life in my hands.



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