Hate To Interrupt You, But....

THE BABY IS CHOKING!!!!!!


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I really did not want to write about this because I don't want come off negative to those in the Nursing profession (Love you Cristin!). But good God, why do I keep getting LEMONS?? I don't want to make more lemonade. I just want to be able to work or sleep and know that my son is in capable hands. Is that too much to ask?




Apparently so.

Last Friday & Saturday we had a relatively new nurse, she has been here several times and every time I kept wanting to pull my hair out! But when you are desperate for some sleep you cave and you give the benefit of the doubt one too many times. Or I at least I do. Did.


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Let me start with Friday. We needed to leave for the hospital by 9AM. At 8:58AM I had everything in the car except for Austin. Yes, I packed it all...not the nurse. The only thing she needed to get to the car was Austin. BIG MISTAKE! She tells Austin "Hurry we need to leave," so he RUNS...do you see where this is going? He RUNS with wild abandon full speed, stumbles into the kitchen and face plants on the HARD.CERAMIC.TILE! Okay, this stuff happens. It has happened on my watch so I know he is 2 and he is going to fall sometimes. BUT at this point I am pissed because he is wailing and she is standing around dumbfounded. Grab some ice, grab the baby...do something!!

I momentarily considered calling and canceling the appointment because well his face was you know, throbbing and such. But we moved on. After I calmed him down I handed her a Nemo ice pack and told her to apply that to his forehead in the general area of the purpleness (yeah, that's my new word.) Two minutes later she whines, "he doesn't want it on." Too bad! He needs it on for the swelling to go down...didn't they teach this in nursing school?


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So now we are running late and I am flying down the HOV lane on the 10 freeway doing 70MPH. Which really is not THAT fast, but faster than the regular lanes. Suddenly I hear a cough/hack/sneeze from the back seat that sounded - excuse me - goobery. KWIM? Then silence.

This bothered me because that kind of noise coming from a kid with a Trach generally requires immediate action. Nothing. Then the noise comes again, more cough/hack/sneeze. So I look in the rear view mirror and still no action from the backseat where the nurse is calmly sitting right next to Austin.

So now I say, "um, I think he needs to be suctioned". Just then I look in the rear view mirror and see his face turning red, he is gasping & now she is fumbling with the suction machine. It's on but I don't hear any suctioning.

So now I am louder, "he is choking, he is choking..." She yells back, "the suction catheter came undone." By then he is gagging & retching. I am still driving in the HOV lane. So I look in the mirror and she he still fiddling with the machine and I say "unbuckle yourself and help him, he is CHOKING!!!!" Now I figure she is a complete moron, so I do the unthinkable.

I pull over into the area next the the carpool lane and STOP.THERE. put my flashers on I jump out of my seat and turn around grab the d@mn catheter and suction him myself. He is still retching. I yell for a 60cc syringe. OMG. She calmly opens it I grab it out of her hand and attach it to his G-tube. He stops gagging. I grab some tissues and hand them to her to clean off his face. Then she says, "well you know the car was moving and I'm not used to that I couldn't get the catheter in."

O.M.G.

So needless to say I wanted to throttle her and secretly wished a police car would drive by so he could take her away. Far, far away.


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Against my better judgment she came back on Saturday. I woke suddenly @ 6:20AM. I saw the monitor going so I knew Austin was still asleep but I did not hear the nebulizer machine humming so I knew he was not getting his breathing treatment. I walked out in to the living room and asked her "did Austin get his water & meds?" She looked at me like I was speaking Greek. So I stormed back to the room and prepared the meds and water. By the time she caught on I was already mid stream to MAD. I hand her the syringe and go to the bathroom to privately scream! I walk back in and the light is on...why is the light on? He is ASLEEP!! So I turn off the light and say "um, we have a schedule printed out because certain meds need to be given at a certain time because of drug interactions. They need to be ON TIME." So she innocently looks at me and says, 'so then you wanted me to wake him up?'

No, did I say wake him up? No, I said, there is way to do it without waking him up. Everyone else can manage that, but guess what you turned on the light, Brainiac so yeah now he is awake!

And so begins my day.


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'He doesn't want to take a nap, he wants to watch his DVD.' So I gave her my standard response, "Well I'm the Mom and I say it is nap time, so there." Yes, I really did say that. He is 2, of course he wants to watch Nemo, but guess what it is nap time and he really is tired he just doesn't know it yet. ARGH!

Now because of the whole early AM medication fiasco the schedule was 30 minutes behind. My direct instructions to her at nap time (11:00 AM) were, "hook up his feeding to him so you don't need to fumble in the dark later or turn on the light. Then at 11:30 you turn it on."

So why did I look at the clock at 12PM and think to myself...hey I don't recall her walking back in there. So I go ask. I find her mid bite into her sandwich. "Did you turn on his feeding at 11 or 11:30?", I ask.

SHOCK! It registers.

She is eating her lunch and looks up and says, 'Oh, I forgot.' You forgot...YOU FORGOT! You are hungry and eating YOUR lunch, but you forgot to feed the baby who can't eat. Seriously. You forgot? You stupid, stupid beast!

Now I am completely disgusted.


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Then she has the freakin' audacity to say to me, 'you know I need to leave exactly at 2pm today.' Oh don't worry sister you will be leaving at 2pm and not one moment sooner. Oh trust me I wanted to toss her out on her ***, but I had things I NEEDED to do, like um, shower and laundry. I gave her a list of "Austin" chores to keep her busy. So then at 1:20 she brings me her time sheet to sign. I handed it back and told her bring it back to me at 2PM to sign. You think by then she would have figured that I'd be a bit, um I dunno "testy" given her behavior. No, not so much.


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Austin woke up from his nap at 1:47PM. Perfect timing for a diaper change and some water. Do you know she actually refused to do it saying 'I need to leave at 2PM.' The clock read 1:53. So I said you have 7 more minutes that is enough time. 'No my watch says it's 2PM.' I don't care what your watch says, THAT clock says 1:53 so that is that.

Right on cue after his diaper change as he is laying on the changing table Austin begins to retch and vomit, I try to sit him up and she pushes him back down. WTF? "He needs to sit up so he can vomit, DO NOT lay him back down!" Isn't this written somewhere in Nursing 101?

So at 2:00PM on the dot she left. FOREVER!

Let me add that we do have some WONDERFUL nurses here, but every once in a while, a true LEMON! Please tell me I am not the only one with Nursing woes.


Thanks for peeking,