Developmental Milestones: Who Needs 'Em?

For a parent of a child with special medical needs every trip to the Pediatrician for a "well visit" can be a lesson in frustration. After all let's be honest I hardly considered my infant well.

According to Merriam-Webster, well (adj): means "free or recovered from infirmity; completely cured or healed."

So yeah, we aren't quite there yet.

To me well means he is not breathing through a tracheostomy tube his neck  or eating through a gastrostomy tube in his stomach. Well means his ears are developed so that the Nurse doesn't need to embarrass us both by attempting to stick the in-the-ear thermometer where there is no ear, which then leads to a note being taped to the front of his chart. But I digress.

So needless to say, no matter how much I personally LOVE our Pediatrician every "milestone" appointment I hold my breath, roll my eyes and force a smile.

It usually begins with a pamphlet titled "Your Baby at 9 months", or maybe some innocent enough questions:

Does he hold his head up? No.
Does he smile when you make eye contact? No.
Does he turn his head to your voice? Umm, that would also be No.

I'm smiling.

But in my head I am screaming "Isn't it obvious he is not on that paper?"

And that was just the 4 month appointment. This went on for months, years even.


*****


What are developmental milestones?

Developmental milestones are a set of skills or age-specific tasks that most children can do at a certain age {range}.

These skills are those things you read in your What to Expect the First Year book. You know, the one you finished reading before your child was even born. You probably expected a healthy, typically developing infant. If you are like me you were surprised in the delivery room or soon thereafter and painstaking changed your reading list to include travel guides on Holland.

Pediatricians use milestone charts to assess how your infant/child is developing in relation to his/her peers. Reaching a certain age and not achieving a certain or number of skills can often lead to a referral for Early Intervention services for your child. No problem. There is no shame in EI services. I love our therapists, even if they do give me homework.

It can be frustrating listening to a set of skills and realizing, very painfully, that your child has not (or may not depending on their diagnosis) achieved "normal".

That's why in our house, we also celebrate inchstones with as much enthusiasm {if not more} than the accepted milestones.

Inchstones are all the little things that your child has achieved DESPITE a diagnosis that states otherwise. They comprise all the little things that might escape the notice of your Pediatrician or your neighbor with a typically developing child, but you cherish and document.





He took his first steps with a walker at 18 months, Call the newspapers!
She pulled off her diaper at 21 months, YAY!
He understood his first signed word at 8 months, WOOHOO!
She put a spoon in her mouth at 19 months, Hurray!
He learned how to blow bubbles at age 2, Congratulations!


Every moment deserves to be celebrated and every inchstone deserves recognition. What have you celebrated with your child today?


Thanks for peeking,