Back in April, I wrote about how we had a nurse who went on vacation and I wasn't sure if I wanted her to come back. Well once her replacement overdosed Austin and then lied about it...I changed my mind about the vacationing nurse. She did return.
Over the past two months her performance has been lackluster and I actually caught her with her eyes closed...not a momentary head nod, but a real it-looks-like-I'm-sleeping eye closure. It turns out she has a bit of an issue with sleeping at night because she may or may not have been out at a local card club and then came to work at 6AM. So after that 'I may or may not be asleep' incident I asked the Agency to let her go.
It is never any easy decision to lose a nurse, especially one that works full time and has been here for several months, but I had had enough of the "last minute calling out, no-show, I'm too tired to work" routine. I just could not take my chances with her falling asleep on a day I wasn't home or EVER!
A good nurse is (apparently) hard to find. So imagine my surprise when the next call from the agency is 'we found someone to fill the extra hours.'
Well this someone showed up 3 hours late to her first training shift. She stuck around for 5 hours during which time she watched our current nurse do her job. She never once spoke to Austin or made any physical contact with him. Never. She never asked any questions about his care and really only seemed concerned that there was too much 'play time' and that his bed time was too late. (It's 8PM.)
Sometimes you just get a vibe from someone and know they are not going to be a good fit. She seemed too distant and just not the right caregiver for a spry 2 year old. Austin was doing his best to entertain her and she did not so much as crack a smile...really? Not one comment about how cute or smart or creative he was. Nothing. I just found that really ODD.
I didn't expect her be fawning all over him, but to not so much as smile when he does his cartoon character imitations or dances wildly around the room to music only he can hear...well that
Kidding. Sort of.
Throughout the day I never got to really know her at all. After she left for the day I was just not really happy with how things had gone. I mulled it over and called the agency to ask her not to return for her second training shift. They said they would take care of it.
The Agency was closed (of course) and the After Hours
I was almost willing to let it go - you know take it as a sign that I had been hasty in my decision and give her a second shot.
That is until I walked in the room and found Austin playing with the other nurse and the trainee sitting in a chair, legs crossed with her text book in her lap and a highlighter in her hand. At which point I
Like I need this.
I know I am not the only alone with Nursing issues. It just boggles my mind with all the stories we have heard from others and experienced ourselves. How do these people stay employed? And better yet, how can they possibly be in a profession where CARE and ATTENTION are required? (If not, absolutely essential.)
Thanks for peeking,
Photo: Katya Mikhlin
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15 Peekers:
Oh wow that is totally uncalled for. I cannot believe these nurses and their utter lack of compassion or humanness (that's a word now). I really hope you find the right one soon!
I am so sorry you keep going through this.
I have never had an experience with home health nursing, but all I can say is just like there are bad cops out there there are also bad nurses.
I myself have worked with nurses who probably shouldn't be nurses. Whose bedside manner is horrible, who are irresponsible or rude or who are just careless.
I hope you find the right person soon. I am sure there is someone out there who is a good fit.
Now, whats up with this agency??? Why are they hiring these people? Why haven't they set down rules and steps on how to be successful at employing and keeping families happy?
I agree, "HOW DO THEY STAY EMPLOYED?"
What bothers us also is:
-These Nurses work for multiple agencies who KNOW HOW THESE NURSES ARE and keep sending them out to home after home!
-Children like yours and mine are ONLY allowed to be discharged from the hospital to live at home with their families WITH NURSING SUPPORT and THIS is the support we get offered! Again and Again!
-Good Nurses are HARD to find and are LIKE FAMILY they are so important to us.
-Bad Nurses are a dime a dozen and SHOULD be dismissed with haste! Keeps the stress levels lower to get rid of them as soon as their is a big enough problem than to let it drag on and on.
-While families like yours and mine do everything we can to keep good nurses, in general, Private Duty Nursing = caretakers who are thinking of themselves FIRST, ie Scheduling, Sleep Patterns, Easiest Workload, Making Money, etc. Very few make the needs of the CHILD and FAMILY a priority!
-We NEVER FORGET that this arrangement is a BUSINESS and even the Nursing Agency does NOT lookout for our child's best interests much of the time.
-We also NEVER FORGET that while this IS a business, THIS IS OUR CHILD AND THIS IS OUR HOME! We are in charge. 100%.
*SIGHS*
Those are just some tidbits from our 6 years of having Nurses in our home. Thanks for the chance to get some of that off of my chest!
YOU are doing a fabulous job, Nurse Mommy! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
((hugs)) I remember when Jack was in the hospital, there were a few Nurse Ratcheds. I was too afraid to piss them off and too mad to let it go.
Then we moved to the world of therapists. And I had to learn how to fire them. Had to do it again today (consistently late, consistently terrible).
I feel for you. All you're asking for is someone who cares ... about kids, about doing a good job.
((hugs))
Since my primary nursing experience is that with the morons that ignored my father while he was in a coma-like-state post major brain bleed. I filed many complaints on his (and my mother's--she was afraid the staff would take it out on my father when we weren't there, but alas retaliation is a crime) behalf.
My pediatric nursing experience fortunately has been better (save for queen of long (bacteria & mold farm) nails in the ER) with my son's few hospitalizations and surgeries. Plus my sister is a pediatric nurse practitioner.
When I worked as an ER tech my priority was patient care & family, if nothing else to keep all informed as necessary. I did my best to treat people as I'd want my own beloved family to be treated.
And now that brings me to the present, in two weeks I will be registering for nursing school. I'll graduation through an expedited program in a year. Agency/home health is an employment option (especially for those who are willing to work pediatrics in my area). I look forward to providing care for the youngest patients & their family. While my child is not medically fragile, I truly understand the concerns and issues surrounding a medically fragile family.
Back when I worked ER, I had a toddler patient with a worn mother. While I don't recall her exact diagnosis, I do recall that she was medically fragile and required special care. The pedi ER doc specifically requested that I collect the blood and perform the other tests. My first order of business was to ASK MOM what works best for her daughter. This poor kid had been through a lot (much like your own child), and mom knew what worked. In her case as much testing that could be done in mom's lap while being cradled... I had to perform a few yoga-like moves to get the necessary blood samples & cultures but there wasn't a tear shed (from mom or baby). She needed to be flown out to the regional pediatric hospital (a highly ranked, respected institution). The odd part to me was when the team arrived the resident all but ignored the mom. Pulled the baby from mom's arms and strapped her down for the required pre-flight IV. Mom found me in tears and begged me for help (the attending doctor was getting report & reviewing results). In a five minute period this young resident not only totally stressed out mom and baby but our staff too. I, of course, had to open my big mouth as the resident cussed under his breath. The baby's veins shunted away as part of the flight or fight response. Mom said loudly "Why don't you ask HER how she got blood, labs, EKG and three sets of blood cultures with no trauma" My response "I listened to mom for what worked." At that point the flight team attending pedi came in to the chaos. He took the resident aside and spoke heatedly to him. Fortunately attending doc came back and apologized.
So it's not just unthinking nurses but other professionals too. Especially with special needs and medically fragile children, why not ask mom for help? I know it takes a special person to work in pediatrics. I hope I can be that person.
I certainly know how you feel. We are about to switch over from nursing back to an attendant in the next couple weeks. We have had a horrible time finding "good" nurses. The agency just sends out whatever they happen to have never taking into your needs or the nurses wants in a position. It's horrible the way they run these agencies. We had one nurse that we LOVED but she's moving out of state...a clear sign to me that we need to look elsewhere for care. Hopefully we'll fare better with someone that I can train from beginning to end (someone that doesn't have to sit and chart for half of the time she's with my daughter). Good luck on your search...
We are blessed to have had great nurses care for my daughter...but I hear stories like yours a lot. Glad you fired her....trust your gut.
It is mind-boggling. You'd think that if people go into this field, they'd care and be competent. You'd THINK. As if you don't have enough to deal with....
When Max was young we used to have home health aides come visit for 20 hours a week. Reading this, I feel really lucky that we found the two ladies we did. They weren't amazing, but they were good. And it seems like in this field, good is GREAT.
wow, that's really inappropriate! i know exactly what you mean. my stepdad needs in home care and some of the nurses are ridiculous. one of the women stole liquor from my parents house then accused my step-father of sexually harassing her. another refused to give my stepdad a bath because he said it was against his religion to see another man nude (well, why did he apply and then accept the position? duhhh). he squatted in my parents house for months and was always too busy with his "side job" to do the job they hired him for. his great attention to detail landed my stepdad in the hospital for 11 months.
the really sad thing is that i have several friends that are nurses; well they aren't friends anymore. i've known nurses that have stolen pills from their elderly patients (to sell and for personal use), stolen meds from the hospitals where they are employed (then she called to ask me for legal advice - i told her to hire an attorney!) and apparently, hospitals and gay bars are a great place to score cocaine. you can see why i had to cut them loose.
i've always had great personal experiences in the hospital with my nurses and my stepdad finally has a great guy that comes to help him everyday. patience is a virtue, i suppose, but it can also be very frustrating. hang in.
That's annoying for sure, but I love hearing you write about it with humor and I enjoyed getting a laugh at her expense. Especially the bit about flames coming out your nostrils. He, he. I hope your dream nurse is just one phone call away.
Ooh, not the kind fof thing you can let go.
Most nurses or people in any profession are great and try really hard, and care a lot, then you get the whack jobs in any group --- gotta cut them loose, pull if off fast like a bandage (ooh, see that medical metaphor!).
We've been fortunate so far with nursing, but have had a few wierd ones. Recently I fired the "senile one" who was a serious risk to Isaac. Then we had the "stinky one" who you couldn't have a conversation with across the room without plugging your nose. We also had the "I brought my blanket so I can sleep in the chair all night one." Yeah, I took a digital photograph of her sleeping one time. LOL. 2 of my best nurses are going on vacation this week...should be interesting!
I am so very sorry. Just imagine what these nurses would do (or not do) behind your back! I cannot believe the trainee didn't even crack a smile at Austin, that says a lot about her personality!
Good for you for speaking up and don't feel bad about firing that girl or sending the other nurse home because they deserved it. It's unfortunate that you are dealing with this. I pray you get the perfect nurse soon!
Oh dear. We've had some doozies too. I can't believe some of them even made it through nursing school. How can you make it through nursing school and be afraid to suction a child? Seriously!? Most of the ones I've fired have been because of incompetence, but I've let a few go because of their complete inability to relate to my child on any level. If they think it's ok to only do the medical stuff and let my child lay in her crib the rest of the day, they are OUTTA HERE!
It is insane how hard it is to find a decent home health nurse! We are supposed to have 40 hours a week plus 24 hours a month of respite. We get, on average, 24 hours a week. We have one FABULOUS nurse who has been here for over 2 years. Our other nurse quit because she got her RN license and wanted to get a job as an RN and not LVN.
Our current nurse works in a hospital, so we only get her on Tues/Wed/Thurs most weeks. I tried getting a nurse for Mondays and Fridays. I specifically asked for someone young, willing to learn, and able to get down on the floor to play with my daughter. The nurse must be physically able to pick her up off the floor, carry her around, etc.
The nurses we get are horrible. I can't even believe some of them were sent by the agency. So far, none of them have been allowed in a second time.
I wish there was an awesome agency that we could all use, with amazing nurses who really WANT to be doing their jobs!
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